I know I should engage your attention if I wanted my page to rake up an obscene amount of hits. I suppose, in doing that, I ought to say something highfalutinly profound to give the impression that I am "interesting."
However, as I mainly concern myself of trivial stuff (i.e. taming my ugly mop of hair; hunting for the Lint Monster that eats up my socks during washer spin cycle), I'm afraid that I wouldn't be able to pull off having an intrinsic character despite peppering this space with lotsa German words like "zeitgeist", "weltanschauung", and "volkswagen".
I am shallow, people of the universe. So shallow that I tidy up complexity by putting people into neat boxes of stereotypes using the question, "What's your sign?".
But when I tire of being shallow, I try to critique movies and books. And sometimes, when my insecurity-level spikes so low, I try to make myself sound so interesting by talking about philosophy. "Try" is the operative word here.
Please excuse me if I talk about me a lot. It's my favorite topic. Next to talking about nothing.
And when one talks about nothing, nothing becomes something. And it's called "crap".
Don’t English, I’m Panic!
August 20, 2008“So, what shall I write about Bem?” I mused out aloud as my brain wracked out an idea on how best to describe Michelle’s boyfriend. See, Bru has this unique idea of making a newspaper decked out of articles that’s all about him. Talk about feeding the ego but hey, that’s exactly the perfect gift I imagine one would be very happy to received on his (/her) special day.
“Why don’t you just enumerate Bem’s good traits?” Cha suggested, extricating herself for a moment from her text-a-thon with her boyfriend, Nico.
“Then we need SHE who knows him well, don’t we?” I looked over at Bru, who, at the moment, was busy bullying (via emails and SMS) other people in helping her fill out her newspaper idea. “What?” she asked rather abstractedly.
“Describe Bem in one word.”
She paused…it was a very long pause.
“Ok, gimme five then.” Like any girl in love, I know she’s trying to find a way to contract a gazillion adjective into one word…that, or she’s finding it very hard to think of even a single positive trait.
She started with, “He’s goal-oriented, first of all.”
“Yeah, he’s so goal-oriented, he’d treat doctors to girly bars to help him get a sale,” Cha, who just finished her text-a-thon, chirped in.
Bru laughed then defended him, “But that’s just normal SOP with most med reps, you know. And let’s not forget his Most Helpful Award he got from his elementary years. He’s real proud of that award because that’s the first and only medal he’s ever received while he’s still in school.”
“Well, I did remember him saying he wants to help those poor dancing bar girls he met while he’s on his rounds,” I teased, on which Cha added, “Yeah. He said if he ever wins the lotto, he’ll gather all of them in one place and…that’s it.”
“Real helpful, huh?” We all laughed.
“Whatever he is, he sure is passionate about whatever he does,” Cha said, finishing up a giggle. “He’s so fired up about his work, he delivered his sales spiel at Debs’ Despedida!”
“And let’s not forget about his passion for driving. I believe we became very religious that day he drove us home,” I mentioned grinning, “Schroo even mentioned getting life insurance as soon as we got out.”
“Even his girlfriend prefers the bus,” Cha teased Bru.
“Come on, you guys,” still laughing, she said, “Driving skills aside, at least he’s sweet and thoughtful…or tries to be.”
“Thoughtful? Oh yeah, tell him the albatross bathroom deodorizer he gave me at my birthday is still preserved,” I winked, “Funny you’re calling him thoughtful and sweet now because that’s not what you thought of him before when he gave you those dried flowers.”
“What dried flowers?”
Cha reminded her, “Remember that one Valentine that you thought he doesn’t care because he didn’t even bother to greet you, but then suddenly he showed up in your office with a bunch of weeds for a present?”
She smiled at the memory. How could she forget when she blushed fiercely (which was no mean feat) after seeing the real bunch of beautiful roses hidden by her seemingly thoughtless and most un-sweet boyfriend while he’s presenting his bogus bouquet?
As the banter went on, I silently reflected on that one instance when Bem was telling us something about himself before he met our friend Bru:
“Before I met her, I was a smart-ass punk who’s always in the center of brawls and drinking bouts. But when she came into my life, she gave me hope that I could be better someday. And I held unto that hope for as long as I can. You know what? She changed me. And I’m glad she did.”
I’m not sure if Bem knows but he also affected Bru’s life so much he changed her to be a softer, more feminine and more caring version than before.
For one thing, the Michelle we know before wouldn’t dip her hands on doing something so personalized and mushy such as the newspaper idea she’s so hell-bent on finishing for Bem’s birthday tomorrow.
“Whatever it is that you’re going to write about, just make it funny,” Michelle demanded, she said trying not to make her newspaper soggy with sap.
“With Bem as the subject? “I snorted, “As if I could avoid not writing so.”
****
What Bem would say: “Don’t English! I’m panic.”
A House is a House is a House
August 8, 2008Pre-Schroo time, I planned to live life to the fullest and then retire happy (and manless) in a big cottage atop a hill with seven cats for company. I don’t have a very descriptive idea in my head, but I think it would be fun playing Show White and the Seven Dwa–
…make that Evil Queen Stepmother with her seven black cats, in a house like this:
Thinking about it now, my geeky Schroo wouldn’t mind living in this one… especially IF I happen to be living with 7 noisy cats.
“You know what’s cooler than the hobbit house?,”he asked grinning.
“What?”
“The star trek apartment!” he grinned even wider. Then he said, “And it went up on sale… I dunno if somebody bought that place though. It’s pretty expensive for something so crazy.”
(Designed by interior designer/ trekkie nut owner Tony Alleyne)
“At 200,000 pounds? Sure is.” I replied.
“Supposing we live in a house like that?”
”Seriously?” doubtful, I asked.
”Why not?” he teased, knowing my uh… biased feelings towards too much geekery (i.e. Star Trek). And since he provoked me into it, I could not help but snap back with, “If that is so, then I will serve you food pills forever more and wear Mr. Spocks ears during our sexy time. “
I’m sure after that, he will never entertain anymore thoughts (whether kidding or not) about getting an apartment that will send us to the poor house just by paying the Meralco bills.
But then,, I suppose the Star trek apartment would be waaaay tolerable than this house created by Daniel Czapiewski :
For the love of Poetry…
August 1, 2008In celebration of its fourth anniversary, Pinoypoets, in partnership with Filipinas Heritage Library, invites you to OUR LOVE FOR GLOVE DOVES: A Cognitive Poetic Approach to Why We Rhyme the Way We Do by Paolo Manalo, award-winning poet and best-selling author of Jolography. The lecture will be on August 16, Saturday, 4 PM, to be held at the Filipiniana Section of the Filipinas Heritage Library, Ayala Triangle, Makati City.
For details, please email pinoypoetsgroup@yahoo.com or contact Romel Samson through 09166390640 and 09297853276.
